I Haven’t Dated in 5 Years

…and other embarrassing truths! (No, not the fact that I farted in yoga. It was the dog. Totally.)

^^^I’m not lying. I haven’t dated in 5 years at least. It is totally embarrassing and something I just never talk about. (*please note, even before this 5 year no dating spell, I didn’t date a lot. Not much at all really. So it’s not like I went from social butterfly to Emily Dickinson.)

So, here’s the story and why I’m sharing it on this blog of health and fitness. I make it no secret that I often feel awkward and uncomfortable in social settings. As an introvert I just struggle with how to take what’s in my brain and make it work with actual conversations.

My goals for August are pretty simple and EXTREMELY HARD (for me.)

The theme is to address nagging desires or things that I think will really enrich my life and make me a happier, better person. Rounding out my life by finding a nice boyfriend is something I think would bring me a lot of happiness. Unfortunately, it generally means you have to date. Oops. One of my excuses for not dating is that “I’m not interesting enough and won’t have anything to talk about.”  I work in marketing; I’m full of shit on this one. I have plenty of interesting things to talk about. And I’m a great listener.

Start Volunteering – I’ve always debated volunteering for literacy programs, organizations that help people get on their feet, and animal welfare programs. Based on my all-consuming guilt and rampant desire to adopt every homeless pet (especially the elderly pets!), I am starting with the animal welfare side. Please take bets now on how long it takes me to adopt an old doggie.

Put Myself Out There – UGH. Such a cliche way to title this goal/desire thing, but really, I need to stop resenting all the happy coupled people and those who have no trouble dating. See also, I’m uncomfortable around people I don’t know. This makes meeting guys and dating extra tough. Plus there’s been that whole terrible self esteem and negative body image thing. BUT NO MORE. It’s time to break out of that terrible mindset.

My friend sent a text about speed dating and I’m not sure if it was all a joke or not, but now we’re actually talking about trying it. And I think it might actually be the perfect thing. Not necessarily for the hope of meeting a nice guy, but for the simple fact that it means I have to practice talking in a datelike setting. I HAVEN’T HAD TO DO THIS IN A LONG ASS TIME PEOPLE. I’m not sure I know how to flirt anymore – unless it’s with a gay man. I’m great at flirting with gay men.

Continue to tackle important household nagging tasks that drain my energy and which I use as excuses to not date or invite people over to my house – I keep my house in a very lived in state. It bothers me. I would never have someone over without at least a few hours prior notice in which I’d clean the main areas of the house and shut doors to the rest. I don’t want to live that way. I don’t want to have so much clutter around all the time that I would be moritified if someone dropped in. Same goes with my car. I really let it get junked up. NO MORE. It’s time to tidy up for real.

Go to Running Group and Train for Half Marathon – Yep, I joined a running group and it starts on Sunday. It meets 3 days a week and it culminates with the Gobbler Grind Half Marathon in November. I want that chintzy white sticker with the black numbers that says 13.1. I even wrote 13.1 on my hand tonight before I hit the gym because I’ve been in a not so great place mentally with my workouts. I also found a great quote that I wrote down on scratch paper and read before I stepped on the treadmill.

Only those who will risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go.
-T.S. Eliot

So, this month I risk going too far.

And this month’s theme song is now: Push It.

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10 thoughts on “I Haven’t Dated in 5 Years

  1. Remember to be yourself! If you go out there and act extroverted, you’re not doing yourself or other interested parties any favors. Yes, you have to go “out” on dates, but that doesn’t mean you have to be the main attraction on the dance floor. Believe it or not, internet dating sites aren’t THAT bad, but there IS a lot of crap out there, you just have to be able to see through it. Nothing wrong with being a “homebody” I’d rather stay in than go out most of the time!

  2. No one acts like themselves when they’re dating. Sh!t. I ate a salad on my first date with Jeff and that was probably the last time I ordered a salad at a restaurant. I think you should say “yes” to every opportunity that comes your way. Watch “Yes Man” with Jim Carrey and make it your life’s mantra. Do you want more unsolicited advice?

  3. LOVE this post and LOVE the new header. 🙂 I agree that dating is ALWAYS FUCKING AWKWARD. That’s why there are movies and stories and stuff about how awkward it is. You just have to stop blaming the awkwardness on yourself. Speed dating sounds like a great idea! At the very least, you can experiment with different strategies and stuff to use in more real situations. I also like the volunteering idea. I always meet people most comfortably at work or volunteering. I think having a shared goal really helps take away some of the awkwardness. Go get ’em!

    1. Shared interest/goal = YES! I think that makes it easier to have stuff to talk about. Just because I don’t like to go out to loud places late at night doesn’t mean I can’t go out and about and do things. They just have to be things that are relevant to my interests *insert LOLcat here.*

      I like the idea of speed dating just because it means I get to practice my “Hi, I’m Katie!” elevator speech. Instead of leading with statements like “I’m boring” or “oh, I don’t like to do much” I should really be saying things like “I love fitness and cooking! I also write and love to read. I’m a huge animal lover so I also love to curl up and watch movies with my furry friends too.” CONFIDENCE. I need to stop counting myself out because I’m not an extrovert or super fond of going out all.the.time. I’m cool just as I am.

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