Things I did today: ate half a bag of peanut M&Ms, logged into my Weight Watchers account for the first time in months (I got bored and disenchanted with points – see also: ANGSTY – and switched to SparkPeople exclusively), bought approximately $45 worth of candy for stockings and holiday gatherings and then felt guilty for spending money and for buying junk food, read a bunch of posts on Fit Bottomed Girls and thought “I can do that!.”
ONE OF THESE THINGS IS NOT LIKE THE OTHERS! Well, okay, there’s an interesting discord in the events of my day. I also napped (actually, I fell asleep with my computer) while reading fitness blogs and thinking about working out.
On to the real point. If I really want to succeed and change myself and my life, I have to get my thoughts, emotions, and actions in sync. One of the posts I read on FBG today was about understanding why you’ve gained weight. In the past 5 years, I’ve gained 61 lbs. In the past year alone, I’ve gained 30. Not only am I compromising my health, I’m compromising my present and future sense of fulfillment and joy. I am not living my life fully. I am cheating myself out of the items that mean the most to me. And I know that everyday I don’t change, is another day closer to losing the chance at the life I want. I’m not just talking about “being skinny.” My goal is to be healthy – to be active. To do simple everyday things without a second thought or discomfort. To get married and have kids.
To achieve, I must draw lines and make choices. I expect 2011 to be quite an interesting year so stay tuned and keep reading and commenting because really? That connection and support helps more than anyone can know.